Saturday, March 26, 2011

Global Barking

From CNN's article Reduce your dog's carbon pawprint:

If you don't have a dog yet or are considering a second pet, you might want to think outside the dog box. According to the Vales, a goldfish is equal to the impact of just two cell phones; two hamsters or four canaries can be compared to a plasma TV; and a cat is only as bad as a Smart Car.

All right, do your part, everybody!

"I'm getting a goldfish. LOSE MY NUMBERS!"

"Ahhhh, see you in hell, four canaries!"

"Honey, come help me unload the groceries!"

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Bone Sunday

In 2007 Vince Averill, John F. O’Donnell and I were contestants on a Game Show Network show called Chain Reaction.

Which brings us to 2011 a few days ago! My friend Sam emailed me that he had found an emailed version of an old blog post he'd written recapping the show back when it first aired.

Here it is:

Hopeless.... Romantic???

Jesse Popp, JFO, and Vince A. were on Chain Reaction last night, following is my review of their performance:

The first 15 minutes the boys looked like they were slaves being forced to appear on a game show. They were losing pretty badly, and they didn't look like they were having fun at all.

Then came the interview portion of the show... they gave a nice shoutout to Michigan, and denied going to New York together for some reason...

There was some nervous talking over eachother about what they'd all do with the buying food, paying some bills and having some drinks...

...this is when John piped in with his dreams about becoming a chocolate fountain mogul. This livened the boys up a little bit, and they all became more confident in the second half of the show.

In round two (or whatever) the boys really took control... they had a great lead and all of the momentum... then came a really unfair part of the game...

Jesse said "I'll take a letter over (whatever the word was)" then almost immediately the buzzer rang... not really any chance to think...

then the OTHER team got like a full minute to look at it while they decided how much to wager, and then where they wanted their letter... it was really weird and unfair...

Long story short,

Vince and John did a pretty good job of, though never having appeared on a game show, looking like game show vets...

Jesse, though having appeared on the biggest most famous game show ever, and having appeared on television doing standup, did a good job of looking as though he had never even had his image captured on any sort of film or video.

And in the end... they lost to girls.
I can vouch for all of this as accurate. It really takes me back! CHAIN REACTION!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Ides on The Prize

Unlike most people, I like to wait until March 15th to start my New Year’s resolutions. You see, by now, all the poor lazy souls have fallen back into their old habits of sitting around on beanbag chairs and eating banana splits for breakfast while their copies of The Easy Way to Stop Smoking collect dust on the mantel. This leaves me with plenty of elbow room to update my website and live life to its fullest! I’m doing calisthenics as I type this!

Well, one thing I am actually working on today is sorting through some of my joke paperwork:

I'm afraid I can't quite remember what a lot of it even means. I found one sheet of paper, wondered why I would ever call something "Awesome Act/Discreetly Mine", then realized it was just an old Kentucky Derby bet.

We do what we can!