Reload Bonus

I bought a new computer but instead of using it to update my website, I’ve mostly just listened to music, caught up on dumb YouTube clips and cheated until I beat it at chess. But at least I’m not gambling yet!

So, more to come but let’s knock off the rust with a quick rundown

1. Here are some pictures by Mindy Tucker of a fun show I did on Monday. This is me pretending to read from a book as a joke:


Physical comedy! Tonight I’ll pretend to do other things at Coco 66 in Greenpoint at 8pm.

2. Here is a word for word transcript of a voicemail I received the other day:

Ernst. Innocent. AKA: The Big Fish. The La Poissant. The Sure Thing. This message is for James the Carpenter. I'm the Israelite brother you met the other day and I was calling to invite you down to the church. My number is (REDACTED) and I was preaching to you that Jesus Christ was black, the real Jews are black, so call me back when you get this.

Easily one of the greatest wrong numbers of all time and I don't have much else to add.

3. Finally, I’ve never given much thought to what I’d want done with my remains after I die, but I do know it's not this:

Solo in Peace! Tenth Avenue Freeze Out!