Painting the Town Famous

Growing up in Michigan I never got to see very many celebrities. The truth is it's mostly people from "The Midwest". Sure, one time I saw Chris Hansen at the hardware store, but that was back when he was still a local reporter on the make and online predators were just a glimmer in his eye.

But here in New York almost every time you turn around it's Wowee! and Holy Smokes! Lookee who it is! Here are some of the celebrities I've seen and what exactly it was that I saw them doing.

Andre Dawson

Autographing a baseball for a youngster.

Wallace Shawn

Dropping something in the street and then picking it back up. Whoops!

The Guy from Ashford and Simpson

Wandering through Central Park alone, appearing to be strung out on pancake makeup.

Andy Rooney

Shuffling down the sidewalk at the rate of one half mile per hour. They should be called sideSHUFFLES, right Andy?

Michael Musto

Riding his bicycle in search of gossip.

Rihanna

I came upon a crowd of people causing a commotion on the sidewalk. A young woman I didn’t recognize was being lead into an SUV by a bunch of bodyguards. I asked some lady who it was and she said RIHANNA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so I guess that was her.

Adrien Brody

Walking with his arm around a girl. He must be beating them off with an Oscar!

Tim Robbins

Using an ATM. I tried to see what his balance was but I was all the way on the other side of the street!

RZA

I walked right past him and looked at him like “Whoa, it’s The RZA from Wu Tang Clan!” And then he looked at me like “Whoa, it’s Jesse Popp from the 2002 season of Comedy Central’s Premium Blend hosted by Wanda Sykes!” Then I went to go get a haircut.

Who do you think I'll see next??