Government Error In Your Favor

That picture was taken right after I checked my bank balance and discovered that the IRS had peeled off 600 economically stimulating dollars for me.

This must be how Willie Nelson never felt!

Always Be Clothing

Yesterday I encountered one of the more unorthodox up-selling attempts I’ve ever seen. I was buying a pair of pants and a shirt and the clerk said:

“You want more than one pants?”

“No, thanks.”

“How about another shirt?”

“No, just these. Thanks, though.”

“You want tie?”

“No.”

“How about belt? You want belt?”

“No. Thank you.”

“You need underwear?”

“Nope. Just this.”

“How about new suit? You like a new suit?”

Once again, that progression starts at More Pants, works itself all the way down to Underwear and then blasts off for NEW SUIT.

Gettin' after it in The Big City!

Hey Marino

This monkey’s on the Seefood Diet: he sees food and he completely DESTROYS it!


Look at that thing! Seriously, look at the very fat monkey! I’ve been staring at this like it’s a 3-D poster. I think he keeps his mouth open like that on the off chance a banana or a big bucket of syrup falls into it. The dude behind him is not looking so hot either. Somebody needs to drop some Perfect Pushups into that pit!

Weekly Evil

Here’s a clip of me and some other comics tossing in our two cents about Lost and how it’s evil. And boy is it!

Got up and took a little walk

I actually helped a little old lady cross the street recently. I had always figured that sort of thing for an urban legend started by the Boy Scouts, but no!

A big gust of wind was having its way with her and she started flipping out. "Mister! Mister! Save me!" I walked over and grabbed onto her arm and she said, "Mister, please don't kill me!" I don't have much experience in holding onto people while they plead for me not to kill them, so I let go of her thinking I had misread the situation. But it turns out that was just her weird old lady way of saying don't let go of her because as soon as I did she said, "Why are you trying to kill me?? Get me away from all the cars! I don't wanna die!" I grabbed her arm again and helped her across the street while she yelled at me about how I had tried to kill her. Once I got her on the sidewalk she slapped me on the arm and went along her brittle way.

Since then, I’ve seen her around twice and both times she was on the sidewalk yelling at people. I’ve assisted a monster!