Thursday, January 24, 2008

Conceed Busted

Kwame Kilpatrick is the mayor of Detroit. It’s a very demanding job so he likes to blow off steam by porking chicks and stealing the city's money for himself and his buddies. Whenever someone tries to investigate this he sorta tends to fire them immediately. A perfect plan that could never stop working! Oh wait, what's this?
Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick is hanging on for his political life after the revelation that, among 14,000 text messages between him and his chief of staff Christine Beatty, there was evidence of an extramarital affair between the pair -- evidence that contradicts his sworn statements in a whistleblower case brought by former police officers that ended in $9 million in damages against the city. (Detroit News)


Here are some of the better actual published texts:

Kwame Kilpatrick: They were right outside the door. They [the mayor's bodyguards] had to have heard everything...

Christine Beatty: So we are officially busted! LOL

KK: LOL LOL! Damn that. Never busted. Busted is what you see! LOL. ...

CB: LOL, LOL. Damn, so they have to walk in before you conceed busted! LOL.

KK: Hell yeah. Walk in.

That's seven LOLs over three texts. These geniuses are in charge of running a whole city!

Some of these exchanges are blowing my mind. It’s almost as if they’re going out of their way to incriminate themselves in exact detail.

CB: OK, I'm feeling like I want another night like the most recent Saturday at the Residence Inn!
Why don’t you just start mentioning room numbers while you’re at it?

KK: 6301 or 6302?
CB: Definitely 6302! 6301 has two double beds.
So they didn't want two beds. But maybe they’re still just friends working late.

CB: And, did you miss me, sexually?
KK: Hell yeah! You couldn't tell. I want some more. Don't sleep!
Okay...just because they were having an affair doesn’t mean they also both lied under oath when they denied firing Gary Brown. Right?

Beatty: I'm sorry that we are going through this mess because of a decision that we made to fire Gary Brown. I will make sure that the next decision is much more thought out. Not regretting what was done at all, but thinking about how we can do things smarter.

Kilpatrick: True! It had to happen though. I'm all the way with that!

Nice! Like I said before, geniuses...a whole city...they run one!

If you ask me, there's only one way out of this mess:

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