tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13763402560214062592024-03-13T10:43:03.778-07:00Jesse PoppJessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00077249770596205421noreply@blogger.comBlogger135125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1376340256021406259.post-75242287119295044862012-04-24T18:43:00.000-07:002012-04-24T18:43:16.100-07:00WebsiteI haven't updated this thing since July of last year. I'm sorry. I hope everyone had a good summer.<br />
<br />
Here is a preview for my Comedy Central Half Hour, which will air on June 15th: <br />
<br />
<div style="background-color:#000000;width:368px;"><div style="padding:4px;"><iframe src="http://media.mtvnservices.com/embed/mgid:cms:video:jokes.com:413000" width="360" height="293" frameborder="0"></iframe><p style="text-align:left;background-color:#FFFFFF;padding:4px;margin-top:4px;margin-bottom:0px;font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:12px;"><b>Comedy Central Stand-Up</b> <br />
Get More: <a href='http://www.jokes.com'>Jokes</a>,<a href='http://www.jokes.com'>Joke of the Day</a>,<a href='http://www.jokes.com/funny/'>Funny Jokes</a></p></div></div><br />
<br />
<br />
And here's some info on an album I'm recording in New York at Union Hall <b>next week</b>. <br />
<br />
Tickets on sale <a href="http://www.ticketweb.com/snl/VenueListings.action?venueId=17195">here</a>. <br />
<br />
Use the discount code POPP to get them for only $2. <br />
<br />
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/gsIi6_65_8g" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br />
<br />
<br />
That's it! Thank you!Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00077249770596205421noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1376340256021406259.post-614705280702392342011-07-25T00:02:00.001-07:002011-07-25T00:02:59.310-07:00Jesse Popp Video Update #7<iframe width="560" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/oHURBejnkSg" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00077249770596205421noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1376340256021406259.post-25670785194931691102011-04-01T13:31:00.000-07:002011-04-01T13:31:27.109-07:00Jesse Popp Video Comedy Business Meeting #1<object width="560" height="349"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ASn3bKxrO5U?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ASn3bKxrO5U?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="349"></embed></object>Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00077249770596205421noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1376340256021406259.post-21877713380387201042011-03-27T22:09:00.000-07:002011-03-27T22:09:52.848-07:00Big NewsMy new headshots finally came in!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AgolWjXpY4M/TY4tDYVP_HI/AAAAAAAAArM/pNjJ53ZMLXc/s1600/photo%2B%25285%2529.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="300" width="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AgolWjXpY4M/TY4tDYVP_HI/AAAAAAAAArM/pNjJ53ZMLXc/s400/photo%2B%25285%2529.JPG" /></a></div><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wh-82-OLuvI/TY4sHy0zXBI/AAAAAAAAAq8/s6x0xr014aM/s1600/0501002350.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="300" width="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wh-82-OLuvI/TY4sHy0zXBI/AAAAAAAAAq8/s6x0xr014aM/s400/0501002350.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dAQiHXdRlbA/TY4w7NH4L2I/AAAAAAAAArU/gx5u07oxCo4/s1600/world_record_fattest_twins.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="397" width="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dAQiHXdRlbA/TY4w7NH4L2I/AAAAAAAAArU/gx5u07oxCo4/s400/world_record_fattest_twins.jpg" /></a></div>Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00077249770596205421noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1376340256021406259.post-2961135385123663372011-03-26T14:06:00.001-07:002011-03-26T14:06:35.078-07:00Global BarkingFrom CNN's article <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2011/LIVING/03/26/dog.hybrid.mnn/index.html?hpt=C2">Reduce your dog's carbon pawprint</a>:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>If you don't have a dog yet or are considering a second pet, you might want to think outside the dog box. According to the Vales, a goldfish is equal to the impact of just two cell phones; two hamsters or four canaries can be compared to a plasma TV; and a cat is only as bad as a Smart Car.</blockquote><br />
All right, do your part, everybody!<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-FfU8SVuY8Ko/TY5UYulLisI/AAAAAAAAAr0/USAS7WLfPqQ/s1600/8472176-man-talking-on-two-cell-phone.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="267" width="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-FfU8SVuY8Ko/TY5UYulLisI/AAAAAAAAAr0/USAS7WLfPqQ/s400/8472176-man-talking-on-two-cell-phone.jpg" /></a></div><center>"I'm getting a goldfish. LOSE MY NUMBERS!"</center><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-d2BGlRr8e_o/TY5Pr_JNsJI/AAAAAAAAArk/-m_TDa_yH1A/s1600/plasma-tv-md.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="230" width="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-d2BGlRr8e_o/TY5Pr_JNsJI/AAAAAAAAArk/-m_TDa_yH1A/s400/plasma-tv-md.jpg" /></a></div><center>"Ahhhh, see you in hell, four canaries!"</center><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ipNgDWRHn84/TY5RdgFqejI/AAAAAAAAArs/Zt49GJkwD1U/s1600/cat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="400" width="328" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ipNgDWRHn84/TY5RdgFqejI/AAAAAAAAArs/Zt49GJkwD1U/s400/cat.jpg" /></a></div><center>"Honey, come help me unload the groceries!"</center>Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00077249770596205421noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1376340256021406259.post-38121238142945152052011-03-22T16:58:00.000-07:002011-03-22T16:58:02.548-07:00Bone SundayIn 2007 <a href="http://timelimitdraw.tumblr.com/">Vince Averill</a>, <a href="http://www.livefromouterspace.com/">John F. O’Donnell</a> and I were contestants on a Game Show Network show called <i>Chain Reaction</i>.<br />
<br />
Which brings us to 2011 a few days ago! My friend <a href="http://twitter.com/#!/samforsyth">Sam</a> emailed me that he had found an emailed version of an old blog post he'd written recapping the show back when it first aired.<br />
<br />
Here it is:<br />
<br />
<blockquote><b>Hopeless.... Romantic???</b><br />
<br />
Jesse Popp, JFO, and Vince A. were on Chain Reaction last night, following is my review of their performance: <br />
<br />
The first 15 minutes the boys looked like they were slaves being forced to appear on a game show. They were losing pretty badly, and they didn't look like they were having fun at all.<br />
<br />
Then came the interview portion of the show... they gave a nice shoutout to Michigan, and denied going to New York together for some reason...<br />
<br />
There was some nervous talking over eachother about what they'd all do with the money...like buying food, paying some bills and having some drinks...<br />
<br />
...this is when John piped in with his dreams about becoming a chocolate fountain mogul. This livened the boys up a little bit, and they all became more confident in the second half of the show.<br />
<br />
In round two (or whatever) the boys really took control... they had a great lead and all of the momentum... then came a really unfair part of the game...<br />
<br />
Jesse said "I'll take a letter over (whatever the word was)" then almost immediately the buzzer rang... not really any chance to think...<br />
<br />
then the OTHER team got like a full minute to look at it while they decided how much to wager, and then where they wanted their letter... it was really weird and unfair...<br />
<br />
Long story short,<br />
<br />
Vince and John did a pretty good job of, though never having appeared on a game show, looking like game show vets...<br />
<br />
Jesse, though having appeared on the biggest most famous game show ever, and having appeared on television doing standup, did a good job of looking as though he had never even had his image captured on any sort of film or video.<br />
<br />
And in the end... they lost to girls.</blockquote>I can vouch for all of this as accurate. It really takes me back! CHAIN REACTION!Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00077249770596205421noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1376340256021406259.post-90993734427228144162011-03-15T11:04:00.000-07:002011-03-15T11:04:17.240-07:00Ides on The PrizeUnlike most people, I like to wait until March 15th to start my New Year’s resolutions. You see, by now, all the poor lazy souls have fallen back into their old habits of sitting around on beanbag chairs and eating banana splits for breakfast while their copies of <i>The Easy Way to Stop Smoking</i> collect dust on the mantel. This leaves me with plenty of elbow room to update my website and live life to its fullest! I’m doing calisthenics as I type this!<br />
<br />
Well, one thing I am actually working on today is sorting through some of my joke paperwork:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-VUW7fEkAIc8/TX-b9oNqo_I/AAAAAAAAAqc/HyKuDPoFB18/s1600/photo%2B%25283%2529.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="300" width="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-VUW7fEkAIc8/TX-b9oNqo_I/AAAAAAAAAqc/HyKuDPoFB18/s400/photo%2B%25283%2529.JPG" /></a></div><br />
I'm afraid I can't quite remember what a lot of it even means. I found one sheet of paper, wondered why I would ever call something "Awesome Act/Discreetly Mine", then realized it was just an old Kentucky Derby bet. <br />
<br />
We do what we can!Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00077249770596205421noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1376340256021406259.post-58735115377545787432010-11-22T15:10:00.000-08:002010-11-22T15:10:55.828-08:00Getting Things DoneI cleaned my room today and went through the last of the stuff I had in storage over the summer.<br />
<br />
Sometimes I look back on all of the important things that I've lost or accidentally thrown in the garbage over the years (keys, wallets, money, checks, plane tickets, social security cards, birth certificates, notebooks, etc) and then I think, "Well, at least I managed to hold onto this big pile of old broken cell phones and tape recorders plus all of their manuals."<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Xkz6ya2_iGg/TOrrTBKCWSI/AAAAAAAAApc/SK4rn7znTkg/s1600/test.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Xkz6ya2_iGg/TOrrTBKCWSI/AAAAAAAAApc/SK4rn7znTkg/s400/test.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br />
Everybody's good at something! <br />
<br />
And, speaking of old gadgets, I found this doozy in an issue of Sporting News from 1993 that I still have (also for a good reason, I'm sure). The jokes are all self-evident so just think of me as the guy who walked to Kinko's and scanned it:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Xkz6ya2_iGg/TOqwKdMfALI/AAAAAAAAAos/LndOnZC_KjM/s1600/Instant+sports+info.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="256" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Xkz6ya2_iGg/TOqwKdMfALI/AAAAAAAAAos/LndOnZC_KjM/s400/Instant+sports+info.png" width="400" /></a></div>Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00077249770596205421noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1376340256021406259.post-66664643708719612072010-10-18T11:03:00.002-07:002010-10-18T11:03:58.131-07:00Working StyleExcerpt from <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/10/16/AR2010101602903.html">The Washington Post</a>:<br />
<blockquote><b>Those with a desk job, please stand up</b><br />
<br />
Some people can't stand working. Mark Ramirez works standing. </blockquote><blockquote>He is not a waiter or factory worker -- he is a team leader at AOL. Ramirez could, if he wanted, curl into the cushiest leather chair in the Staples catalog. No, thanks. He prefers to stand most of the day at a desk raised to above stomach level.<br />
<br />
"I've got my knees bent, I feel totally alive," Ramirez said.</blockquote><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Xkz6ya2_iGg/TLx-J_ZracI/AAAAAAAAAoQ/jSPXQ_r2T-8/s1600/PH2010101802006.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="302" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Xkz6ya2_iGg/TLx-J_ZracI/AAAAAAAAAoQ/jSPXQ_r2T-8/s320/PH2010101802006.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<br />
Whoa! Hey Boss, can I stay late tonight? And come in on the weekend, too!? I mean, think of all those years Ponce de Leon spent in the wilds of Florida looking for the Fountain of Youth when turns out it was just STANDING UP AT WORK the whole time! Talk about a paradigm shift! Give my lunch break to charity, I've got some teamwork to do!!!Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00077249770596205421noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1376340256021406259.post-43409882937979684162010-10-18T11:03:00.000-07:002010-10-18T11:03:28.944-07:00Icebreaker"Soooooo...you like websites, huh?"<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Xkz6ya2_iGg/TLckZ6eGvKI/AAAAAAAAAoE/2WKMttpYhWU/s1600/Capture.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="309" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Xkz6ya2_iGg/TLckZ6eGvKI/AAAAAAAAAoE/2WKMttpYhWU/s320/Capture.JPG" width="405" /></a></div>Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00077249770596205421noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1376340256021406259.post-85393610492938337392010-09-11T11:10:00.000-07:002010-09-11T12:10:07.434-07:00PoochGood grief. I just got online to update this thing and somehow accidentally deleted everything but the blog posts. Whoops! <br />
<br />
My 89 year old grandpa has a machine that hooks up to his telephone line. He can use it to receive up to three emails a day, which he prints out and puts in a three ring binder. Then he replies by writing a letter and sending it through the US Mail. I'm starting to think he might be on to something!<br />
<br />
Well, anyway, here are some things to chew on while I try to figure out computers*.<br />
<br />
An <a href="http://www.thecomicscomic.com/2010/08/meet-me-in-new-york-jesse-popp.html">interview</a> I did over at The Comic's Comic.<br />
<br />
Jesse Popp Video Update #6:<br />
<br />
<object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/jN8avugBkpo?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/jN8avugBkpo?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="428" height="344"></embed></object><br />
<br />
A couple stand-up clips:<br />
<br />
<object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/mj3y6GvHcTc?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/mj3y6GvHcTc?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="428" height="344"></embed></object><br />
<br />
<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Rhh_8Prg0-0?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Rhh_8Prg0-0?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="428" height="344"></embed></object><br />
<br />
<br />
And here's a funny Whitest Kids U Know sketch I have a quick line in, dressed up as the fuzz with Greg Johnson:<br />
<br />
<object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/_5yOAhbggXI?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/_5yOAhbggXI?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="428" height="344"></embed></object><br />
<br />
<br />
And remember:<br />
<br />
Beauty Bar Comedy Show<br />
231 E 14th St<br />
9:00<br />
FREE<br />
Every Sunday with me and Vince Averill. Plus this week we have Rob Cantrell, Matt Goldich, Ben Kissel, Dave Rosinsky and Julia Segal. <br />
<br />
Good luck!<br />
<br />
*UPDATE: I think I sort of fixed it. Who knows. Stay tuned!Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00077249770596205421noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1376340256021406259.post-72391490978250817212010-07-27T14:26:00.000-07:002010-07-27T14:29:26.753-07:00Celebrity Chef or Professional Poker Player?Take your best shot and scroll over the boxes for the answers.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Xkz6ya2_iGg/TE4phwhbc3I/AAAAAAAAAmU/-WjWMkquSYU/s1600/emeril-lagasse.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Xkz6ya2_iGg/TE4phwhbc3I/AAAAAAAAAmU/-WjWMkquSYU/s400/emeril-lagasse.jpg" width="300" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><strong></strong></div><strong></strong><br />
<strong><fieldset><span style="color: white;"><center>Celebrity Chef</center></span></fieldset></strong><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Xkz6ya2_iGg/TE4pouYdJxI/AAAAAAAAAmc/ztVjakQSiqQ/s1600/mike-matusow-profile.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="304" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Xkz6ya2_iGg/TE4pouYdJxI/AAAAAAAAAmc/ztVjakQSiqQ/s320/mike-matusow-profile.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><strong></strong></div><strong></strong><br />
<strong><fieldset><span style="color: white;"><center>Professional Poker Player</center></span></fieldset></strong><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Xkz6ya2_iGg/TE4qlfaO2bI/AAAAAAAAAmk/Nq3ov3ciVLw/s1600/guy-fieri-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Xkz6ya2_iGg/TE4qlfaO2bI/AAAAAAAAAmk/Nq3ov3ciVLw/s400/guy-fieri-2.jpg" width="367" /></a></div><strong></strong><br />
<strong></strong><br />
<strong><fieldset><span style="color: white;"><center>Celebrity Chef</center></span></fieldset></strong><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Xkz6ya2_iGg/TE4qqxb11MI/AAAAAAAAAms/IfayaH4LCrg/s1600/gregRaymer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Xkz6ya2_iGg/TE4qqxb11MI/AAAAAAAAAms/IfayaH4LCrg/s320/gregRaymer.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><strong></strong><br />
<strong></strong><br />
<strong><fieldset><span style="color: white;"><center>Professional Poker Player</center></span></fieldset></strong><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" separator"="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Xkz6ya2_iGg/TE4qzkIwPaI/AAAAAAAAAm0/BoMj5QztahU/s1600/daniel-negreanu.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="267" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Xkz6ya2_iGg/TE4qzkIwPaI/AAAAAAAAAm0/BoMj5QztahU/s400/daniel-negreanu.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><strong></strong><br />
<strong></strong><br />
<strong><fieldset><span style="color: white;"><center>Professional Poker Player</center></span></fieldset></strong><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Xkz6ya2_iGg/TE4rDVkV8EI/AAAAAAAAAm8/pqpFSyvq1E8/s1600/43705_44247.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Xkz6ya2_iGg/TE4rDVkV8EI/AAAAAAAAAm8/pqpFSyvq1E8/s400/43705_44247.jpg" width="297" /></a></div><strong></strong><br />
<strong></strong><br />
<strong><fieldset><span style="color: white;"><center>Celebrity Chef</center></span></fieldset></strong><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Xkz6ya2_iGg/TE4rOoJ49VI/AAAAAAAAAnE/X2gEeGzKOeU/s1600/Mario-Batali-cast-in-Bitter-Feast-film.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Xkz6ya2_iGg/TE4rOoJ49VI/AAAAAAAAAnE/X2gEeGzKOeU/s400/Mario-Batali-cast-in-Bitter-Feast-film.jpg" width="231" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><strong></strong></div><strong></strong><br />
<strong><fieldset><span style="color: white;"><center>Celebrity Chef</center></span></fieldset></strong><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Xkz6ya2_iGg/TE4rUuF-H6I/AAAAAAAAAnM/E-8GXDJNW4w/s1600/hellmuth.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="267" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Xkz6ya2_iGg/TE4rUuF-H6I/AAAAAAAAAnM/E-8GXDJNW4w/s400/hellmuth.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><strong></strong><br />
<strong></strong><br />
<strong><fieldset><span style="color: white;"><center>Professional Poker Player</center></span></fieldset></strong><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Xkz6ya2_iGg/TE4rZvOKLKI/AAAAAAAAAnU/SS4ml1DejXM/s1600/doyle_brunson_0701.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="223" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Xkz6ya2_iGg/TE4rZvOKLKI/AAAAAAAAAnU/SS4ml1DejXM/s400/doyle_brunson_0701.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><strong></strong><br />
<strong></strong><br />
<strong><fieldset><span style="color: white;"><center>Professional Poker Player</center></span></fieldset></strong><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Xkz6ya2_iGg/TE4rZvOKLKI/AAAAAAAAAnU/SS4ml1DejXM/s1600/doyle_brunson_0701.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Xkz6ya2_iGg/TE4rdpElSSI/AAAAAAAAAnc/ZAkCeHpOI1o/s1600/20070925child.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="282" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Xkz6ya2_iGg/TE4rdpElSSI/AAAAAAAAAnc/ZAkCeHpOI1o/s320/20070925child.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><strong></strong><br />
<strong></strong><br />
<strong><fieldset><span style="color: white;"><center>Celebrity Chef</center></span></fieldset></strong><br />
<br />
How did you do? Good job!Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00077249770596205421noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1376340256021406259.post-48608974849020737012010-07-25T13:08:00.000-07:002010-07-25T13:13:33.560-07:00Video Update #3-5!<object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/FMotqx2q_vo&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/FMotqx2q_vo&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="428" height="344"></embed></object><br />
<br />
<object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/tn0sSvivTt8&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/tn0sSvivTt8&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="428" height="344"></embed></object><br />
<br />
<object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/eaU9TzhNQXw&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/eaU9TzhNQXw&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="428" height="344"></embed></object>Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00077249770596205421noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1376340256021406259.post-47263037803168225262010-06-27T10:27:00.001-07:002010-06-27T10:27:56.498-07:00Video Update #2<object width="428" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/BlUGVXLofQA&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/BlUGVXLofQA&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="428" height="344"></embed></object>Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00077249770596205421noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1376340256021406259.post-66618215391423417002010-06-27T10:26:00.000-07:002010-06-27T10:26:52.867-07:00Video Update #1<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/L_STTqyAVP4&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/L_STTqyAVP4&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00077249770596205421noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1376340256021406259.post-10783886593196197752010-03-03T15:29:00.000-08:002010-03-03T15:31:27.322-08:00BlakeI feel confident that I may have just stumbled upon the weirdest video on YouTube. I give you <i>"Little Boy Lost" by William Blake recited by Snowie Diddums Poem animation</i>:<br />
<br />
<object height="425" width="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Os9s9iiQckk&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Os9s9iiQckk&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br />
<br />
Technology gone too far!<br />
<br />
This one, however, is pretty hilarious. Just in case you didn't already know that William Burroughs was out of his mind:<br />
<br />
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/QNGt7xEUgS8&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/QNGt7xEUgS8&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00077249770596205421noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1376340256021406259.post-34578153995689694982010-02-26T11:27:00.000-08:002010-02-26T12:12:41.004-08:00BombshellGet a load of this: <a href="http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre/2869512/Carly-Simon-ends-Youre-So-Vain-riddle.html">Carly Simon ends You’re So Vain riddle</a><br />
<br />
It seems that, after 38 years, Carly Simon finally revealed to the world that her hit song <i>You’re So Vain</i> was about producer David Geffen. <br />
<br />
(I wonder if Dick Ebersol is now regretting <a href="http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2003/08/04/entertainment/main566622.shtml">dropping $50,000 at a 2003 auction</a> to have her tell him that in secret.)<br />
<br />
Well, anyway, now that that’s been solved, I just hope we’ll one day learn the name of the man who sold ice cream to Chicago on that fateful Saturday in the park. Also, Paul Simon only ever mentions five ways to leave your lover…what are the other 45? Paul Simon, if you’re reading this, what are the other 45 ways to leave your lover?!Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00077249770596205421noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1376340256021406259.post-39317285346452053612010-02-16T17:27:00.001-08:002010-02-16T17:33:20.682-08:00What About Joan?I found this again recently and figured I should post it. Here's the fake check they give you as a souvenir after you crap out on <i>Who Wants to Be a Millionaire</i>:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Xkz6ya2_iGg/S3oImjbe5MI/AAAAAAAAAkI/VKMGXyuBBbY/s1600-h/WWTBAM.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Xkz6ya2_iGg/S3oImjbe5MI/AAAAAAAAAkI/VKMGXyuBBbY/s320/WWTBAM.jpg" /></a></div><br />
I know it's fake because I've been trying to cash it for almost nine years! One of these days...Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00077249770596205421noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1376340256021406259.post-26090414079087865572010-02-15T13:20:00.000-08:002010-02-15T13:20:17.716-08:00On a StickHappy Presidents Day! Did you know that Abraham Lincoln was a real cut up? Here's an excerpt from <a href="http://www.historycooperative.org/journals/jala/3/thomas.html"><i>Lincoln's Humor: An Analysis</i> By Benjamin P. Thomas</a><br />
<blockquote>His humor had a general appeal. Not only the circuit lawyers and the Western villagers and farmers, but even urbane Easterners readily succumbed to it...Van Buren related several amusing incidents of New York politics, while others told tales of early life on the frontier. But all yielded at last to Lincoln, who kept them in an uproar far into the night with a seemingly inexhaustible supply of yarns, until Van Buren insisted that "his sides were sore with laughing." </blockquote><blockquote>Much of Lincoln's success as a story-teller was due to a talent for mimicry. "In the rôle of story-teller," said T. G. Onstot, son of the New Salem cooper, "I never knew his equal. His power of mimicry was very great. He could perfectly mimic a Dutchman, Irishman or Negro." </blockquote>And here's a rare photgraph from one of his performances:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Xkz6ya2_iGg/S3mx-499mXI/AAAAAAAAAkA/oxiP4y3LCMc/s1600-h/jeff+dunham+christmas.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Xkz6ya2_iGg/S3mx-499mXI/AAAAAAAAAkA/oxiP4y3LCMc/s320/jeff+dunham+christmas.jpg" /></a></div><br />
Well, it was a long road to that joke, but here we are!Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00077249770596205421noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1376340256021406259.post-70482907796089582162010-02-14T14:52:00.000-08:002010-02-14T14:52:40.568-08:00Porky Pig! Pooh pooh!<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/L1u9IbOcOx8&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/L1u9IbOcOx8&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00077249770596205421noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1376340256021406259.post-18442905592067198992010-02-12T11:18:00.000-08:002010-02-12T11:19:45.199-08:00ValentineGlamour magazine asked me to chip in on a <a href="http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/blogs/single-ish/2010/02/a-funny-take-on-valentines-day.html">blog post about Valentine's Day</a>. If your wondering why they would ask me, it's probably because I'm so glamorous. If you actually knew me, you would already know that!<br />
<br />
<a href="http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20100212/od_nm/us_pants;_ylt=An_xkA9zozCrno8Z0TNQI_Gs0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTFmMXUwMzJqBHBvcwMyMDMEc2VjA2FjY29yZGlvbl9vZGRfbmV3cwRzbGsDbWVucmlza2FudGlj">Here's</a> something else:<blockquote>LONDON (Reuters) – Hundreds of British men are risking a Valentine's Day anticlimax for their partners by stocking up on anatomy-boosting underpants ahead of the most romantic weekend of the year.<br />
<br />
British department store group Debenhams said Thursday it had seen a 76 percent surge in online sales of the 18 pounds-a-pair ($28) underwear in the past week.</blockquote>This is my impression of those guys checking their mailbox on that fateful day: "Bill, bill, junk, bill, anatomy-boosting underpants, bill...wait, wha? They're here!" <br />
<br />
Good luck, fellas!Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00077249770596205421noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1376340256021406259.post-14341747913601583102010-02-08T11:41:00.001-08:002010-02-08T11:41:33.279-08:00PTPWhen I was a kid my favorite board game was called Pursue The Pennant. Here's a picture of it:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Xkz6ya2_iGg/Ss1mzBlUPoI/AAAAAAAAAfo/1FCwHU4d0vM/s1600-h/ptp.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 179px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Xkz6ya2_iGg/Ss1mzBlUPoI/AAAAAAAAAfo/1FCwHU4d0vM/s400/ptp.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5390077355816664706" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Sweet Baby, look at all those charts!<br /><br />I got this game when I was 10 and for a good couple years played it almost constantly and usually by myself since most people tended to find it extremely boring. I'd ask my friends if they wanted to play and they'd look at me like I just asked them to do homework and go to Sunday school and mow the lawn all in a row. This boggled my mind. Don't you like baseball? Don't you want to "call the shots"? Don't you like CHARTS?!?!<br /><br />Even <a href="http://tabletopbaseball.org/ptp.html">the website</a> where I found that picture doesn't have my back:<blockquote>A full 9-inning game takes about 45 minutes to an hour to play. The game can be played head-to-head or solitaire. However, due to the in-depth nature of the games, solitaire play is not all that fun.</blockquote>Oh, look who's Mr. Cool all of a sudden! "I mean, yeah, I made a website in honor of a 20-plus year old board game for dorks, but, you know, it's not like I play it by <span style="font-style:italic;">myself</span> or anything. I only play it head-to-head with supermodels."<br /><br />Not likely. Your butt smells!Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00077249770596205421noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1376340256021406259.post-59878814627345091302010-02-08T11:19:00.001-08:002010-02-15T13:31:55.365-08:00Those who canWhenever somebody turns 100 or 112 or some other crazy number, the news always asks them about their secret to longevity. A quick Google search yielded these:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.highbeam.com/doc/1G1-62532542.html">Cornmeal mush</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.4to40.com/newsat4/index.asp?id=1393">A comfortable life with servants</a><br />
<a href="http://www.supercentenarian.com/oldest/gertrude-baines.html"><br />
Men and chocolate</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.blisstree.com/healthbolt/want-to-know-the-secret-to-longevity/">No sex</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.slashfood.com/2009/01/14/worlds-oldest-woman-credits-longevity-to-crispy-bacon/">Crispy bacon</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.4to40.com/newsat4/index.asp?id=1393">Lots of vegetables</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/11/05/106-year-old-voters-cheerful-longevity-secret/">Being cheerful</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.topix.com/city/fairforest-sc/2009/09/nothing-special-104-year-old-mary-smith-doesnt-have-any-secrets-to-longevity">Nothing special</a><br />
<a href="http://hubpages.com/hub/The_Secret_to_a_100-year-old_Mans_Longevity_Drink_and_Smoke_Everyday"><br />
Drink and smoke everyday</a><br />
<a href="http://www.blisstree.com/healthbolt/want-to-know-the-secret-to-longevity/"><br />
Never drink</a><br />
<br />
There you go. Get cracking!Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00077249770596205421noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1376340256021406259.post-61138561394722659482010-02-07T12:18:00.001-08:002010-02-15T13:32:55.029-08:00PropA lot of potential action on this Super Bowl:<br />
<br />
<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Xkz6ya2_iGg/S28gJ-VI56I/AAAAAAAAAjc/_I1GJ_SiDrk/s1600-h/Capture.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 150px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Xkz6ya2_iGg/S28gJ-VI56I/AAAAAAAAAjc/_I1GJ_SiDrk/s400/Capture.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5435598630982051746" /></a><br />
<br />
If Pete Townshend loses his mind and smashes his guitar on one human fan, today could be your lucky day!Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00077249770596205421noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1376340256021406259.post-58311034535484236432010-02-05T15:30:00.001-08:002010-02-15T13:33:45.814-08:00DigsRight now I’m at a hotel in Boston. I have a show for the <a href="http://www.magnerscomedyusa.com/calendar.html">Magners Comedy Festival </a>in a couple hours. <br />
<br />
Magners is an Irish cider. I'm not sure if I've ever had it before, but its makers certainly have great taste in the comedians they let loaf around in a fancy hotel room for free, though. So thanks, Magners! Drink Magners!<br />
<br />
Anyway, I still have to sit in all these chairs and play with the room safe before showtime. Wish me luck!Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00077249770596205421noreply@blogger.com0